Tuesday, December 22, 2009

Why I Blog About Being in My 30's?

I have to admit, I really looked forward to turning 30.  As far as I was concerned, my 20's SUCKED!  I was still in college then graduate school and then post-graduate school.  I was always broke, ate whatever I could afford (which did include some Top Ramen Noddles, Chicken Pot Pies and Frozen Burritos in packs of 30), thought I was fat (I was slightly overweight but I still looked good), loved and lost and lost again.  Basically, I couldn't wait for that blasted decade to end.

Now I was still technically in school when I turned 30.  I was working on my doctorate degree at Ohio State but I looked forward too feeling more confident in myself, ready to start my career in academia and anxious to meet some MEN instead of the pathetic and immature momma's boys I kept attracting.  My 30th birthday came in March 2003 without much fanfare because I was still living on a graduate student stipend (read as slave wages) so it wasn't until the following year when I moved back home to California that I threw myself a Big Fat 31st Birthday Party.  I organized the party, made and mailed invitations and had a blast.
See Below Picture:

But after the frivolity of that night drew to a close, I realized that "Dammit, I still have to get up and go to work tomorrow, pay rent on time, buy and cook some dinner and write that excruiatingly painful loan check each month."   It finally dawned on me, after my head stopped ringing from all that sake I chugged at my party, that unlike my 20's where I could skip a class or hit the club on Friday AND Saturday night and then show up in class in my pajamas, I was now expected to be a responsible adult.  Oh crap...I really convinced myself that my 30's would be a slighty tamer version of my college days. Boy was I in for a rude awakening.

Like I said, I looked forward to my 30's like a teen looks forward to age 21.  But I hadn't anticipated the changing expectations for my attitude, behavior and priorities.  As I got further into my thirties, I picked up additional responsibilities and the days of carefree living grinded to a halt.  I now have student loan and credit card debt up to my eyeballs, half of the mortgage and utility bills which I share with my husband, household cleaning and cooking duties as well as  full-time job as a college professor.  Add to that, family drama that rears its ugly head every so often, trying to start a family and weathering a 10% paycut due to faculty furloughs.

Sure, I'm more confident in who I am now than I was at 25 but somedays I do long for moments when I can just do a road trip to Vegas with my girls and blow a few hundred on drinks, food and playing chips.  Now don't get me wrong, I still have fun with my friends but nowadays we plan everything which isn't a bad thing.  It's just a 30+ thing and it's taking alot of getting used to. Oh yeah, and getting used to not being able to eat what I want and still lose weight was by far the hardest lesson to learn of them all.

So I blog about being in my 30's because this is a major transitional decade.  Too young to cash in on the Denny's Seniors Discount but too old to sport Victoria Secret's track suit with "PINK" spread across my ass at work.  This decade is often fraught with more of life's major challenges: starting a new career, getting married and starting a family, purchasing a home, possibly caring for older parents, etc. All of these challenges can be highly stressful but because women in particular are encouraged to have it all, many of us run ourselves ragged trying to meet all of these lofty expectations.  My blog is about being responsible enough to live a balanced and healthy life while keeping my sense of humor and sanity.

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